Thunder rumbled off in the distance. Lightning had gone to bed, tired of bombarding the Earth with its energy. The night was hot and sticky, like every night in December. I lay atop my bed, pillows and bedspread a tangled mess. I couldn’t sleep. I had many reasons not to: a sudoku game, the unbearable heat and the looming reality of my parents’ divorce, but the biggest reason was far daintier: a little watch.
The little trickster was a Universal Genève Altesse. According to the 1963 issue of Europa Star which I dug up on The Watch Library, “Altesse” was apparently the name for francophone markets, while “Avanti” was the name for the American market. I have seen examples with “Altesse” printed below the pinion, examples with nothing printed, but not one example with “Avanti” anywhere on the dial. I don’t know what to call it. Seeing as most people call it the Altesse, I’ll stick with that.
I had been lusting after an Altesse for many months at that point. I couldn’t stop looking at them. Each day I would look for more for sale. They had to be the right one too. For eighteen years the only thing I did was settle. Many watches I bought simply because they were the best I could afford. My Omega Seamaster is a good example. I didn’t say, “I want a quartz Omega with a gold dial.” I said, “I want an Omega and I have R3 000 to spend on it.” This time was different. I said, “I want a Universal Genève. It must have a steel case with a white dial and Roman numerals. The logo must be the later, less bold ‘U’ in a box and not the thick, almost tuning-fork-esque ‘U’. The words ‘Universal Genève’ must be printed in one line, not two. It mustn’t look like it fell off of a truck or came from the back door of an animal.” So I saved. I was dedicated. I wasn’t going to take the second-best option.
I essentially stopped drinking for a few weeks to save what little I could from Martini vermouth. I stopped buying McFlurries and chewing gum too.
I even worked at my uncle’s engineering place. I love my uncle very much and I’m so thankful for the opportunity he gave me, but I am glad I will not become a civil engineer or quantity surveyor. It was a hard few weeks, but it was worth it in the end. For my UG, I am prepared to do it all over again.
My beloved Bucherer had recently found a new home in the Netherlands with a good man Matthijs. I know he will treat her well. I needed the money and she needed someone to wear her more.
At that point, I wondered what else I could sell or do. A quick look at my bank app gave me the answer: nothing. After what felt like forever, I had just enough to scrape together to buy the watch I had wanted. I sighed in relief. I graduated high-school at the top of my class. I survived a breakup with a Hello Kitty girl. I had my heart, mind and soul chewed up, spit out, stomped on and shat on by scores of people and events. In the end, I survived.
When one is young and thinks of the concept of a “spirit animal,” the thought almost always leads to animals like dogs, cats, lions or eagles. That’s usually on the grounds of loyalty, freedom, courage, et cetera. I found that my spirit animal is the cockroach. Sure, it’s small and most people think it’s disgusting and pathetic, but it’s hardy. No matter what happens, one of them will scurry away as if nothing happened. Radiation? Not a problem; Curie who? Food shortages? There can’t be a shortage if you can eat just about everything. French revolution? They’ll die of thirst only after a week due to no longer having a mouth. Water? They can hold their breath for forty minutes. Street cred? Older than dinosaurs; how’s that for an OG, bitches? One cockroach is enough to get most people running and screaming. The cockroach is always underestimated until it makes itself visible. A cockroach cleans itself after a human touches it. Let that sink in. It’s tough, but still civilised. I respect that; that’s why it’s my spirit animal.
After a sigh, I felt the breath of my hot Kenyan girlfriend on my chest. “You still up?” she asked, groggy. I gave some sort of affirmative grunt. “Thinking about cockroaches again?”
I smiled. “Maybe.”
She gently rubbed my carved, muscular chest. “Tell me some fun facts about cockroaches and watches, darling.”
(I don’t know what your goal was in writing this paragraph, but I hope you achieved it — Ed.)
Where was I? Universal Genève Altesse, okay, yeah. I bought a watch. Sorry for wasting your time. This post could have been four words long, but that was too short, so I added some filler, then all of a sudden I realised I had made a post for The Cockroach Room.
Right before I made payment, I learnt about the Universal Genève White Shadow. It was available in effectively the same configuration as my ideal Altesse, but with a larger 35mm case and a sweet microrotor automatic movement. They were slightly more (I say slightly, but I mean 60 – 80% more) expensive.
Am I settling now? The White Shadow is very likely the better watch, but I’ve been wanting the Altesse for a long time.
I was dead-set on getting a White Shadow until I counted my money. Then I realised I was settling in the opposite direction, getting something more expensive than what I wanted because, I don’t know, maybe I was paranoid about 32mm being too small or I subconsciously wanted to prove something to I don’t know who. I knew as soon as I started counting coins that I could not actually afford a White Shadow. Sure, I don’t have bills to pay, but spending everything in one place? Altesse it was.
This post was written in January and meant to be released as soon as I got my Altesse, which was in March. I kind of forgot about it until now. What’s my verdict on the Altesse after almost a month of wear? Honeymoon period was short. I like it. I wear it sometimes. Finding 16mm straps is a bit tricky unless I choose to have them imported, which, it being the end of the month, I am in no position to do. Actually, as a student, I am seldom in a position to do so. I decided watches are to finance watches, so I’ll need to sell one or two to get myself some straps and goodies.
The UG Altesse is a watch. It wears larger than 31mm suggests. It’s elegant. It’s unique. At the prices these sell for, I think it’s a good deal. If you want one in need of some love, 200 USD gets you one. If you want one that’s more like mine, you’re looking at 400 to 500 USD. The Chinese numeral version sells for a little more than that and the Arabic numeral version a little less. I have nothing romantic or navel-gazey to say about it. It means a lot to me, as do many of my watches. It commemorates something. It’s a watch. A good watch, dare I say. Buy one, or don’t.
The Escapement Room 