We are back for the second installment of the occasional Escapement Room series “Ask a Watch Collector Anything”. We have collected a variety of questions and put them to Steven Kolchak, the marketing director for a plumbing supply company in King of Prussia, Pennsylvania. Steve is fifty-one and collects everything from luxury Swiss brands to microbrands. He has an adult son and two grandchildren. We got Steve on the telephone to listen to our pre-recorded questions.
Steve: Answering “as a watch collector”, ok, let’s go, first up…
“I am so concerned today that sectarian violence, especially in the Middle East, will consume all of our precious resources and will require the continued use of fossil fuels. What is the most effective way to protest this?”
- Mindy, Westfield, N.J.
Steve: Really? That’s the question? That’s more of a series of non sequiturs, but ok… The wars of religion only ended in Europe when an entire generation of men died and the economies of every little Germanic state, and Sweden, were depleted. The Protestants and Catholics looked around and decided that these sorts of things needed to end in 1648. Well, the Northern Ireland thing took longer, but that had an end of the British Empire feel to it as well. Any war ends when the costs become too much for both sides to bear. Costs can be practical or political.
If people are shooting at you and firing missiles at you, maybe CO2 isn’t your biggest concern. And then, what exactly are you protesting? Sectarian violence, pollution, Exxon? I am not sure that anyone in the Golan Heights is going to notice your march in Central New Jersey. Maybe your town council can pass a resolution condemning this or that side, because that’s really useful.
I would rather talk about what Citizen is doing with their dials. They are beautiful…
“I am 22 and just got my first post-college apartment. I have to be kind of frugal, so I cook spaghetti a lot. It sticks together sometimes and I hate a huge chunk of pasta. My friend suggested salting the water and adding a bit of olive oil to the spaghetti as it is cooking. Will this work?”
- Garrett, Minden, LA
Steve: Not world problems, good. First of all, the salt is just there for flavor. It has no magic non-sticking properties. It just adds a little flavor, or rather, it enhances the mild flavor of the pasta. Secondly, that’s a waste of olive oil. It will just float on top of the water, usually off to the side of the pot. You can add some after you dump it in the colander if that is your thing. It will keep any sauce from adhering to the spaghetti, but some like it that way. To solve the sticking problem, use a large pot and more water than you probably are and give it three or four good stirs while it is cooking with a fork. No lumps that way. I was hoping to get into why I chose the 36mm Explorer 1 over the 39mm. The wrist presence of the 36mm is perfect for…
“My daughter’s JV basketball team just played a team with a boy on it. He had long hair and went by “Sophie” but years ago when I was his Den Mother in Cub Scouts, he was Ricky. He is 6’1” and shaves. These girls are 5’4” at best. He was swatting shots left and right. It was unfair. My daughter and several other teammates cried after the game. What can I do as a parent?”
- Stephanie, Norwalk, CT
Steve: Really? Another third rail topic? How about something like is the new Vulcain overpriced? That one is up my alley. (Nice watches by the way, I have my eye on a Cricket. I don’t have any alarms in my collection.) Ok. My niece went to Central Michigan on a volleyball scholarship. No way she gets that opportunity if tall men were spiking on her and her teammates. I wish we could just go back a few years and undo this “progress”. Everyone, especially the children involved, would be happier. I feel sorry for children caught up in this. If I were a girl dad I would be furious. You need to let the school system know what this is doing to your daughter and her team. If Divine was still around, I am sure that he would agree. Maybe we can get a watch question?
“I have seen many videos lately showing the progression of Lana Del Rey and her recent weight gain. I think that this is disgusting and should be banned. Lana is beautiful and her music is beautiful, and this is just misogynistic fat shaming. What you think?”
- Charlotte, Albury, N.S.W.
Steve: No, no, no. I am not commenting on any woman’s weight gain, nope. And no, I am not banning any videos that aren’t pornographic or show some sort of violence. We just don’t ban things we don’t like. We should treat people of all sizes with respect, that’s a given, like Seiko’s quality control issues, if I can bring it back to watches…
“My professor says that our modern political paradigm can best be explained by using a post-colonial analysis. I think that in this stage of late capitalism there needs to be more emphasis on class consciousness and the goal should a class awakening, not just a racial awakening. Who is right?”
- Miranda, Bryn Mawr, PA
Steve: Enjoy trying to unionize the Starbucks after you graduate. You are both wrong. I could explain, but really why? You won’t listen. Just go glue your hands to a roadway in protest somewhere. I will just be enjoying my late capitalism life by wearing my Montblanc Star Legacy Full Calendar…
“What are the best options for a sub-200 USD watch? I need something to wear to work in a business casual environment.”
- Milton, Singapore
Steve: Finally, a watch question. Milton, you have many good options, depending on your tastes. First I would check out…(unfortunately our telephone call with Steve dropped.)
The Escapement Room 
Poor Steve… he only wanted to talk about his watches. He missed a trick not mentioning a chronograph and the spaghetti, then again, he might think they are too busy.
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Firstly the new Vulcain is overpriced. I understand that it’s harder to make the Cricket as it’s a small 36mm but does that mean, it has to cost more than double an Oris big crown pointer date? Secondly I loved this, it’s hilarious so thanks.
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