Is this acceptable? I know what you did last Summer, and the Watchbros(tm) are appalled…

No… you are not seeing things, that is a watch. A gaudy looking streetwear drop right?

Wrong?

It is the product of a sick mind. (Calm down son – Ed).

No, but it is something I rescued from the box of bits. A 1970s Delta Computer that had a broken EB something (not checking, it is in the bin).

I finally decided to actually build the kits I had lying around. I had a fair amount of free time this summer, what with a massive career change and a mid-life crisis, so “the Devil makes work for idle thumbs”.

The catalyst was actually somewhat surprising: a Cooper Submaster Automatic from the QiMei Watch store on AliExpress. It was the summer sale and when it dipped to below £75 with coupons I decided I would finally drop on it after prevaricating for around four years.

Yep… that 12 o’clock index placement is an absolute travesty. Quality control is optional. The “store” was unhelpful, and did suggest I either return it to China for a refund (with me paying the postage), and they will determine whether it is faulty (I mean – one has eyes, this should never have left the factory), or, maybe they would give me $16.

What would $16 dollars do… I was angry, so I did what was the most cathartic thing at the time. I took the watch apart. Violently.

I then accepted the $16 and bought a dial and hands.

Of course, being (a) very ignorant, and (b) angry, I bought something which said “S-Logo” in the description which meant it was designed for an NH35/36, and had “Seiko” plastered on it. Meh. I then remembered the Cooper had a Miyota 8205 inside. Then I had to buy dial pins. Then I got the tool box out to snip away the NH35 pins, and some sand paper, and a craft knife, and some adhesive, and next minute you know, my desk is a mess and I’m learning the hard way as to how fiddly seconds hands are to install.

After three hours of blood, sweat, profanity, and some temper tantrums my five-year-old self would have been embarrassed by, it was finished. A “Seiko” with a Miyota 8205 movement, in a “Cooper” branded “Rolex”-style case, with a dial that was not dive worthy, and (shock horror) rose gold “Tudor” snowflake hands in a steel build.

It was hideous… yet, deliciously rebellious. This was horological punk.

I then began pulling all my Pagani Designs apart. An NH34, NH35, another 8205… what can I build with these.

The shitty graff dial was exhumed from the art cupboard (aka the loft room wardrobe that smells of turpentine and regret).

A 28.5mm watch dial is too small a canvas for such a large volume of paint delivered at high velocity.

The Pagani PiTime in Robin Egg blue got bastardised into this. I f*cked the seconds hand, but called it a design feature. Pretentious prick that I am.

The Delta was equally torn apart and slammed into the Miyota powered Pagani Palm dial. Hubris, thy name is mod.

Then I took them apart – I hated them, but something had awakened within me. As I sat at my desk, elbow-deep in the cogs and cases, a rush of inspiration hit me the likes of which I had not felt for years. I was enjoying this carnage.

Cue montage – a shopping spree on AliExpress and eBay to grab as many parts; the only limit to my imagination is what I could find. Colours, case shapes, dials, straps, movements… the choice was overwhelming. Planning a build was easy, the waiting for everything to arrive from China was the hard part. Itchy fingers took more things apart in the meantime… but when packages arrived I would build.

That last one… the plastic case and exposed movement and dial. I wondered if I could get a Miyota version that might work with the Delta… and then the initial monster was born.

I think it frames it well; it is almost like a presentation box. The star of the show is the dial. Delta is still one of those old brands I have not managed to pin down anything of use (possibly German, could be Italian). I bought it back in 2013, and it was a non-runner. An awful Ebauches Bettlach powered sweetheart. The dial is stunning, classic vintage charm, and it was wasted in a wasp-powered skin-diver. The original case is still on my desk, the true altitude bezel is irreplaceable, and maybe I can reuse it somewhere, or maybe make a reference of it for future projects.

Inspired by the multiple streetwear collaborations I have been buying of late, such as the Bapex drops, whatever Timex secretly released in Japan, and the new love affair I have developed for Frank Miura (I know, I know…), a garish camo strap and gold handset, and boom, it’s my new favourite.

I already have the next victim lined up:

This shit is fun again.