On my bed side table is a copy of James Joyce’s Finnegan’s Wake. I’ve had it for three months, thereabouts, and in that time I was able to go through two pages. Go through two pages, doesn’t mean I understood anything. I keep reading and rereading it and keep getting lost after every other word. I have yet to understand a single sentence.
The novel, if it is indeed a novel and not just the ramblings of a mad man, is supposedly one of the hardest reads in the English language. It is impenetrable and utterly frustrating. But, there it is, on the night stand, taunting me with my linguistic ineptitude. My non-native speakership is showing. James Joyce has always been a favorite. His earlier works have been difficult but once done they made me feel good about how I English. A Portait of the Artist as a Young Man.. done. I can read. Ulysses… Sure it took a while but no big thing. Finnegan’s Wake? I guess I’m dumber than a bag of rocks.
That said, I find relief in the fact that I’m not the only one who can’t with this book. Which begs the question, what then is its value if hardly anyone can get through it? For me, it seems like the value is in the having. This is a book to have, to signal the type of person I’d like to be. It’s not for flexing because it’s hidden away from prying eyes. It exists only within the confines of my bedroom.
Not very valuable, when you think about it. Mighty pretentious too. Or what the young uns call “performative.” Speaking of which…
Similarly, I find watch collecting to be performative at times. A lot of watches sold and bought and utterly unused for their intended purpose. Thinking in particular about tool watches. What I’m talking about here are collectors spending money on tool watches because they look good or have the right brand. They are like a book never read, gathering dust atop your night stand.
Okay, let’s get the disclaimer out of the way: your money, your watch, use as you please, obviously.
Now that that’s done, what exactly is a tool watch anyway? Words have meaning but some words are trickier than others. There doesn’t seem to be an accepted default definition of what a tool watch is. They can be elaborate with all the features or as simple as a two hander. A diver can be a tool. A field watch can be a tool. A pilot can be a tool. I think the only two qualifiers that everyone seem to agree on are durability and functionality. Professionals and hobbyists alike will have to figure out what specs maketh a tool watch. I don’t know. For our purposes here, specs don’t really matter. I’ve said time and time again, I don’t care about specs.
What I do care about on this subject is value and perceived value. The tool watch’s value comes from how much it is used. Again, different watches have different features. Sometimes, watch enthusiasts want all the featuees even when they don’t need all of them to get a job–any job–done. Features do not equate to utility. I guess what I’m saying is, features don’t make a watch valuable, utility does. Use the watch enough times, you’ll get your money back.
Cost has a lot to do with utility. At least, it does with me. The more expensive a watch is, the less likely it will be used the way tool watches are designed to be used. Tool watches are supposed to be roughed up, banged up, dropped occasionally, get wet constantly, whatever else. In other words, it is the watch that helps you get the job done, whether that job is fighting fire, making coffee at a coffeshop, or going to far flung jungles for research. What happens if you work at an office with airconditioning and mid-morning conferencing with the regional office half a world away then? To that I say, why are you wearing a tool watch anyway? Wear a calatrava or a tank, goes well with your suit. To which, you might answer, “I prefer a field watch or a diver.” To which I say, you can put whatever book you want next to your bed, but if you’re not reading it, you ain’t using it. It is without or has minimal value.
I don’t think tool watches should cost an arm and a leg. In fact, if you’re getting a tool watch, I genuinely think the cheaper the better. That is, if you’re going to rough it up, as it was intentionally made for.
I had a brief fascination with the Hamilton Khaki. I even got one about two years ago. But what I found was that I couldn’t get past the cost. That is to say, I keep checking if I accidentally bump it on doors or walls. Because of its low 50meter rating, I would take it off whether I was near water, things like that. I do like the aesthetics though. A month ago I was gifted a Timex North Expedition. Same looks. But because of the significant price difference, I find that I am able to do more with the Timex. I bang it all the time, accidentally of course. I sleep wearing it. I don’t take it off while I shower. I wear it while playing with my dog as I don’t care if it gets scratched or whatever else my dog might possibly do.
It’s not like you can’t do any of that stuff with a more expensive watch. I know people who use a Rolex Explorer to hammer a nail. I exaggerate but you know what I mean. There are people who swim in salt water with an Omega Seamaster Professional and not rinse the watch with fresh water afterward. Or maybe you’re like Bruce Wayne in Batman Begins who’s doing carpentry while sporting a Reverso. I acknowledge that some people have more money to play with than others. You’re free to do whatever you want with money that’s yours. I’m not talking to those people. They make their own rules. For the rest of us, I can’t see the raison d’etre of luxury tool watches. If you can afford a high-end watch or you saved up for said watch, why get a tool watch? Why not get something precious that you can baby and keep safe from, well, life? Maybe hand down to your offspring?
There’s a flipside to this rant about tool watches, which is this: if you’re buying a watch you want to hand down to future generations (an heirloom, if you will) it should not be cheap or affordable. Intentionality is important. If you’re a GShock fan and you love your GShock, just give it to your child unceremoniously while you’re still healthy and enjoying life. Or if you’re still using it, buy your child a similar model. There are posts of people out there in internet land making a big deal out of cheap watches being handed to their offsprings, like it’s supposed to signify a parent’s pure, white love. I promise you it’s not, anymore than my kid should make a big deal out of me buying her an iphone for christmas. That phone should be used, abused, and discarded once the new model is out. It shouldn’t be a talking point. My only hope is that she makes the iphone last long enough, not decades, just a couple of years. And I’m only going to gripe about the cost if my kid loses it or drops it, not “oh it’s my heart in the shape of a rectangular device that will remind you of my love forever and you dropped it.”
This philosophy is something that my kid came to or picked up on her own. When she gifted me a Casio A168W one Christmas, knowing that I collect watches, she made sure to tell me, “You have to use it regularly. Don’t put it inside a box. Play with it. Use it.” So I did. 50 meters? No problem, I’ll swim with it during summer.
I do have some watches that I plan to leave behind for my daughter. One watch I gave her on her 18th. Another one when she graduates college in a couple of years. These are watches than mean something to me. I don’t know if they’ll have meaning for her. It doesn’t matter. She can do whatever she wants with them, keep them, sell them, whatever. How she receives them is not as important as why I’m leaving them to her. And the value of these watches (not the monetary cost) are in the having and in the passing down, not their complications or features or even their age. They are in the intangible.
Value matters. Not cost. Value. The Timex has more value than the Hamilton Khaki. For me. For me. I’m not trying to tell you how to spend your money. But value is in the intentionality, or maybe purpose, of the thing. You like the looks of a diver but won’t swim with it, or you’re swimming only once a decade, you have something that has no use other than something to look at. You have a barely opened the book.
So, where do we go from here? You define your watch narative, not anyone else. I just shared with you mine. You don’t need to agree.
The Escapement Room 