Generational musings

So

I’m getting old. My nephew turns 18 soon, and the wife suggests we buy him a watch. He doesn’t wear a watch… at least he doesn’t wear the G-Shocks, Casios, or mods I’ve built him over the years. He’s surgically attached to his phone, and is constantly late to everything, therefore paradoxically in need of removing his head from his arse and transplanting it back into this plane of existence.

“What do you think about this?” It’s a Breitling. It’s nice, but it’s an older one. It’s good for me, but I’m not turning 18 (jealous, moi?). He wouldn’t know a Breitling if it slid into his DMs with the promise of a good time surfing, or whatever Breitling focus on now. She nicked my Colt the minute it landed, I guess it’s a family trait – is she sketchy?

“What about this Tag?” It’s a Grand Carrera. I mean this in the nicest way possible, that’s wasted on him. An automatic chronograph based on old cars, it’s not in his ballpark at all. He isn’t watching Clarkson’s Farm and demanding we buy only British.

“What about that new Swatch x AP?” I don’t know who she is anymore. She did buy me a Snoopy MoonSwatch last year, and I am entirely happy about that, but

Good

Lord

I wouldn’t let her loose in a WoS with a credit card. This is a girl who hates Hublot ffs, I can’t even begin to describe how hard it is to hold on to the reigns…

“I’ve order this Tag for viewing” A Carrera, automatic, in blue. It’s reasonably priced. “Darling, he’s probably not going to want an automatic, he’s lazy enough as it is, so how he’ll keep a watch going is a mystery to me…”

“Well… what do you suggest?”

I draw up a list: Tag Formula 1 steel bezel, quartz, sporty. Breitling Endurance, quartz, sporty. Hamilton Khakis, quartz, safe, smart. Tissot PRX, multiple colours, again safe and sporty. Longines Hydroconquest, and, as she’s picked an automatic, the Conquest as well. Failing that, loads of micros: all of them met with derision. Too boring.

A watch isn’t really the thing to buy an 18 year old now. It’s ancient, outdated nonsense. I doubt he’ll wear it… at least not after the first couple of months. I doubt he’ll wear it at university, if he even goes… He’s studying Economics, he probably knows how tainted a product a luxury watch is.

Heathrow… WoS… she picked out the black Longines Conquest with rubber strap. “That’s nice, would he wear that?”

Numerous emotions flash through my dopamine-addled brain (I’m at the Panerai display, I’m genuinely fucked when it comes to rationality at this point. I hate flying; I do not wish my final moments of life to be shared in a metal tube of other people’s farts whilst decrying the irony of dying due to a “weak attractive force”).

1. I already suggested that one… I BLOODY TOLD YOU. I might know wtf I’m on about! It’s not that watches are any part of my (sad) identity!
2. It’s an automatic, and costs less than the Tag F1 quartz I said. Tag are taking the piss, and the Longines is all of a sudden “pretty”? Tag need to give their head a wobble. I wouldn’t go near them at retail with yours…
3. I’m hungry and doing that weird British thing of not stressing about going to the gate, whilst also wanting to do nothing else but be at the gate in case of (idk) whatever will change in international politics in the next five minutes. Plus I’m hungry. Yo! Sushi beckons like a fishy siren.
4. I want the preowned Bvlgari Diagono Yachting Timer or Oris ProPilot X Miss Piggy. At least it’ll go to a willing recipient.

(San Marino tax laws allowed for a massive reduction in the price of a Citizen Tsuki-Yomi Blood Moon. I wasn’t allowed “The Citizen” – I am in talks with a divorce attorney 😉)

It’s a thing… the watch.

It’s important. It’s the milestone. It’s the statement.

When my grandfather passed away he had amongst the jewellery a “Rolex”. “Oh, I bought that for him in Cyprus, and promised that one day I’d buy him the real thing…” my father lamented. We know that day never really came; an athlete, a talented sportsman, a genuine renaissance man struck down by a stroke at the start of the ‘90s before he even hit 60. When is the appropriate time after that to fulfil that promise?

I bought my father a salmon Air King as a retirement gift a few years back… there are no words needed. It’s a recognition of a promise, and a declaration of love. I know; he knows; we know. He wears it… and because he does I know. The man wanted a metal detector for one birthday, and I bought him the bloody Bill Wyman one he desired and it’s been in the box for 20 years… He wears the bloody Rolex. I’ve got him bang to rights. Wear the fucking thing.

This Conquest is something for my nephew. It’s hard to see in 2026 how he might appreciate it, but I hope he does. The wife and I are young(ish), but still too old that for us, sometimes, the statement piece is just what we do. We are the consumers the watch industry has ticking it over. No amount of trying to be disruptive, or clever, or “punk” will ever stop buying the shiny piece of jewellery as an act of love.

I’ve now got to try and set up this Tsuki-Yomi… it’s confusing, and I’m 3/4s of a way through this rather delectable local Italian vino bianchi. The Japanese part of the manual is making more sense than the Italian.